Brilliant Second Effort?
Untitled
it's quiet now
the battle is over
but surely it will rage again tomorrow
shattered bodies are still strewn about
like the toys of a careless child
they are the forgotten, because
only the living matter
the earth covers them all with a velvet
shroud of shifting white
sightless eyes and gaping wounds are shielded
allowing them some dignity in their eternal rest
peace steals over the field
but at morning light, both mist and peace
will burn away under the burning sun
for now, it is quiet all sleep in their mother's embrace
what they regard as so much fantasy
is chillingly, horrifyingly real
innocuous words obscure treachery
and smiles disguise eyes cold as winter night
the sky ever darkens
the wind shrieks its bitter dirge
and all is unquiet
in this world of ice
Some sort of acceptance
it is an odd feeling
something like the calm after a violent storm
all is peaceful again
and you can't really believe what happened
the pain was excruciating
seemingly without end
then suddenly it lessened
gradually it faded away altogether
but the memory of it is still fresh
the open wound has knitted together
and only a thin scar remains
it does not hurt anymore
there is no more pain
yet somehow I am not confident
I have learned many lessons
but I cannot put them to use just yet
a thoughtful period comes to my mind
almost a lull to absorb all I've been through
I have grown a lot
and I realize how far I have to go
I can be patient
I will take life as it comes
and maybe someday I will try again
For You
I have a stiletto in hand
Sharp as a needle and deadly as an adder's bite
I will plunge it into your heart
And free you from the curse of life
That plagues you so
I will do this kindness for you
That which I swore never to do
My love for you is no less
My pain is as great as your own
And as I watch the last light die in your eyes
Part of me dies as well
Leaving behind only the hollow shell of a man
Empty, brittle, and cold September 20, 1996
It's amazing what can trigger a memory
A song you shared with someone
A common chord heard by another
Her higher-pitched voice soaring above yours
A gentle melody, yet filled with angst
Now in times long after those shared moments
You sit and silently mourn
You can see the ghostly outline of that loved one
You wish you could hug the image
But alas, she is only in your memory
You cannot hold onto the past
So you sit and smile gently
Unashamed of your private sorrow
And wiser for the experience
Life is not always easy, nor are its lessons
And then the song ends
Nostalgia slackens its grip on your soul
And the memory fades away
Far back into the darkest recesses of your mind
Do not forget her, as she is part of you
And even painful memories define who you are
Memories of Days Gone By
Talked to some old friends today
We go far enough back that I can't remember
a time when I didn't know them
We talked about the past
Basked in the glow of shared memories
Revisited trees climbed
Rewalked old stomping grounds
Traveled the roads of the past
Shook the dust off memories of older times
We laughed about them, enjoying the camaraderie
I suppose it was then when I realized I was grown up
Those childhood days were so remote
No longer were they crisp memories now
Rather they were yellowed with age
and I'd never trade them for anything
They helped define who I am, who I've been
The old innocence of youth
Recaptured in the smiles of old friends
Pang
Just a girl like any other
One of the millions of "could be's"
And of course I said nothing
Maybe I like being alone
We both know I don't
I wanted to be needed
I want to be someone's safe place
And I'm not
It's a need I will never satisfy
And that's most likely for the best
My lonely vigil is a weary one
One day I will blow the candle out
But not tonight
Ode to a Fool
Fear not, foolish lad
I know exactly how you feel
The road of heartbreak is well-traveled
Some explore it slowly for the first time
Some can blaze through by memory
Inevitably, we all travel this road
It's narrow, dirty, and has brambles all around
The length of it depends on the traveler
Ironically, it's easy to stumble on
But hard as hell to stagger off
Often times one feels wiser having traveled it
They can recognize fellow travelers by the cloud in their eyes
The pain cannot be shared or dismissed
But it gradually fades in time
Only when the pain is dull can leave the road
And travel on to where other roads may take you
You'll be sadder for a while, but wiser
How do I know, you ask?
Simple, I reply
I'm walking the road with you now
How long my journey will last, I do not know
But I'll travel until I'm through
So, my fellow traveler, take heart
Your pain is not eternal
You'll live and move on
Such is the nature of the heartbreak road